I suppose I should have seen it coming. After all, she is five. After all, when we travel, we primarily eat at McDonald’s. True, I have tried to cut expenses by preparing our own food. However, that doesn’t always work. I don’t usually fix sandwiches at home anymore. I cook meals from scratch which requires meal preparation and planning. Spur of the moment trips require quick foods, like sandwiches, and I rarely have those fixings on hand. If my husband is called out of town without advance notice, we resort to eating out. Generally, we land at McDonald’s. Last week when we stopped at McDonald’s I shared how someone blessed us with generosity. Further, I shared why I like to avoid Play Place’s. The story gets richer in two ways.

First, my husband’s work kept us out of town during the suppertime hours. We were again, faced with eating out. To add variety to our food, I opted to take the children to Wendy’s. I am not sure it met the qualifications for variety. One fast food restaurant is like another fast food restaurant. Yet, the Wendy’s cashier would beg to differ. Let me explain:

I lined the children up and gave them a choice between a chicken or beef sandwich. My older children responded appropriately to the cashier telling her their choice was chicken. But not the five-year-old. She stepped up to the cashier mustered all her resolve and proclaimed loudly that she would like a McDouble. The cashier raised an eyebrow and pressed her lips together firmly. The rest of the children blushed and shifted their weight. They tried to whisper politely, “Charity, this is NOT McDonalds. This is Wendy’s. They don’t have McDoubles.” Charity continued to insist she should have a McDouble despite the explanations from the older children. We finally distracted her and ordered a sandwich that was closest to her liking. Once Charity gets a notion in her head, there is no talking her out of it.  Distraction works best. She comes by this trait naturally.  My heavenly father uses the same technique with me.  He often distracts me from my stubborn notions with other experiences.

Second, several days have passed since our Play Place experience. You may wonder if the children got sick as I predicted they would. Three days after exposure to a public play area my children contracted the stomach flu. Zachariah blessed us with a full view of his partially digested breakfast on the way to our Christmas Cantata performance. Sadly, he missed seeing Daddy sing with the choir and Mommy singing the solo “Mary did you know”.  I am thankful it was video recorded so our son can see it, but it is not the same. This is the kind of rich experience, I prefer to avoid in the future.

Today we are on the road again. My husband was called out of town for an emergency. We are so blessed to be able to travel with him. We can pack up school books and enjoy a change of scenery from our school room at home. This time we were able to obtain an extended stay accommodations which means we have a kitchen where we are staying. It was an unexpected trip, but with a kitchen, I can stop at the store and prepare our food back at the hotel. Perhaps we can avoid more exposure to viruses and other bacteria that prevent us from living life to its fullest. We can also experience less awkwardness which centers around the lively communications of a five-year-old.

Udderly His,

The Kansas Milkmaid

My children like McDonald’s. When we travel they ask to go to the ones with the Play Place. McDonalds’ Play Place is the bane of my existence. They harbor all kinds of germs. Being a momma of a large family means I avoid germs with all intensity. One exposure to the flu means we are out of commission as a family for weeks.

I have never figured out why, my children, though exposed at the same time, always stagger their illnesses. The first to come down with the flu suffers the worst. They are the guinea pig for all of my herbal concoctions. By the time the fifth child, contracts the flu, I have perfected my herbal treatment and they have less severe symptoms. Though I must admit, my children do have miraculous healings depending on which herbal remedy I use. If I bring out the oil of oregano, they press their hand firmly over their mouth and proclaim they are not sick anymore.

So, I hate the Play Place. Yet, it is winter. And, yes, it is winter. That means two things. My children have been cooped up indoors and I am feeling the aftermath of cabin fever. I have to weigh the advantages of the Play Place with the disadvantages. There are germs. Then, there are five crazed kids with storehouses of energy pulsing through their veins.

Sometimes I cave in and take the children to the Play Place. In fact, that is what I am doing right now. I am computing wireless compliments of McDonalds, while my children ingest toxic mega farm food all for the sake of deferring the agony of cabin fever. Okay, you may judge that it is a poor choice and it doesn’t line up with my all natural small family farm professions. But, believe me hypocrisy is worth the price of maintaining maternal sanity. Just ask my kids.

My oldest son accompanied us on our trip today. He stood in line with the midget terrorists closely in tow. Each of them went through the dollar menu and changed their minds several times before giving big brother their final order. Despite their indecisiveness, the children conducted themselves with decorum. A woman stood behind them and marveled at what she saw. In the meantime, the cashier rolled his eyes, hoping the five-year-old would stick with a McDouble after changing her mind ten times. First is was a McChicken, then a McDouble. Then she had to confer with her brothers to see what they were getting. This took place while the line grew longer. Ah, the power of a five-year-old child who is oblivious to the lunch hour rush. Finally, the five-year-old settles for a McChicken. The cashier gasps breathes a sigh of relief. He quickly blurts out the total before the little girl changed her mind again. The woman pressed through my group of children and handed the cashier a twenty dollar bill. My oldest son looked at her shocked. She smiled and said, “God bless you and Merry Christmas!”

My children soaked it all in. This is not the first time they have witnessed this. In fact, my husband took them to Lowe’s while he shopped for building supplies. Before he could pay a man watching him stepped in and paid for his eighty dollar purchase. I am thankful for the spirit of kindness that exists in the hearts of people today. My children will walk away from these experiences enriched. When we receive the benefits of someone’s generosity, I encourage the children to keep the legacy alive by identifying ways we can give and bless others. I don’t know who these people are, but I can guarantee you that my children will carry out their legacy by continuing random acts of kindness. The children are generally very creative and sensitive in finding others to bless. It is a joy to keep this legacy alive. Sometimes there is a glitch in my children’s giving. The twins decision to give away their younger sister to a stranger did not go over well. They insisted since she was named Charity, she should become charity and was fair game to give away.

In a few minutes, I will leave this building with significantly calmer children. They may have some turbo virus pulsing through their veins, but they gained something else from our trip to the Play Place today. They saw the loving kindness of a stranger in action again. May God grant me the ability to raise these children to be giving adults just like those who have given so generously and spontaneously to us.

Udderly His,

The Kansas Milkmaid

Site meters are intriguing tools. I am amazed at how many different people log into this site and from all over the globe. With the aid of this tool, I can see who my regular readers are and their location. Many still visit even though I don’t post regularly. They are there every day logging in at about the same time. More than that, it is interesting to see how people arrive at the Kansas Milkmaid site. Some arrive here from emails sent by friends sharing an article I have written. Others come by directly googling the Kansas Milkmaid. Still other google topics I have written about like the James Washer, self-composting toilets, or living simply.

I have readers who belong to large organizations and companies like Hospira, the USDA, the National Weather Service, and recently someone from NASA logged onto my site. There are real readers behind these organizations. I have interacted with a few of them through private emails. They aren’t just spam bots.

That set aside, I was especially curious about why someone from NASA would be looking at my site. So, I clicked on the referring URL. Lo and behold, they came by a google search. They were interested in sawdust composting toilets. And, I thought I was confused when I posted on using the microwave by lantern light. Somewhere out there lives a space technician who dreams of roughing it. While I highly recommend a self composting toilet, I would be reluctant to try them in space. Though I must admit, I know nothing about sewage waste and outer space. Perhaps high technology and primitive living go together better then I suspect.

Udderly His,

The Kansas Milkmaid

The hectic nature of life continues to prevent me from regular blogging. Despite my absence from the web, I continue to have many noteworthy experiences I must find time to write down. Recording these events is not so much for public consumption, but it is crucial for my children and my children’s children.  What is so important about my life? Why keep writing even if only for my children and grandchildren? After all, I am just an ordinary woman living a mundane and sometimes dysfunctional life. Yes, I live life like many others. I have my share of failures, a few successes and perhaps even more failures. Okay, so a lot has gone wrong in my life. But, even my heartache is nothing new. Many people suffered as victims of child abuse and domestic violence is everywhere in marriages both in Christian and non -Christian homes. There are plenty of books in bookstores both new and used chronicling the stories of victims. Sure, there are books about successful people. Frankly, we have seen it all, read it all, and watched it all. Why write more?

The answer is simple. Despite being raised in a non-Christian home surrounded by drunks, abusers, a Satanist and yes more drunks, God found me. He pursued me and hasn’t stopped. He opened my eyes. Once our eyes are opened to see God in our lives, we see an extraordinary life that is worth writing about. With open eyes, we can then look at our past, and often discover God’s activities that we missed the first time around. We see things that we previously missed. And we learn that God was there all the time. Beyond that, when we see God in our lives at work, we can’t help but write it down because we see the good news more profoundly. The ordinary morphs into extraordinary when a person recognizes the sovereign hand of God in the monotonous, and in the midst of chaos. I believe every life, created by God can be remarkable. Moreover, I believe God is working in every life in the same manner described in the bible. Perhaps, He is less apt to use miraculous means to touch our lives. Yet, I find God’s providence to resemble His miraculous nature. No one lives an dull life. We only become ordinary when we refuse to live our lives according to God’s intended purpose. We become ordinary when we fail to see His sovereign plan for our lives, when we fail to acknowledge His majesty.

God in His sovereignty designed a life of woe for me. I spent many years being subjected to abuse as a child and as an adult in my marriage. Living with violence brings loads of complications. The pain and confusion did not occur in a vacuum. Abuse impacts others just like a stone thrown in a pond sends ripples to the larger body of water. Domestic violence is called a social problem for this reason. So, along with complicated family relationships, I have found difficulties in larger social settings when striving to deal with what happened in my life. Yet, God knew exactly what kind of challenges I needed in order to be refined into Christ’s image.

Indeed, my life was characterized by pain and trauma. But, God was in the midst of it all working to free me from the life long oppression. My bondage ended a couple of years ago. Getting released from heartache never occurs instantaneously. The children and I have slowly, piece by piece, been freed from the pain. God didn’t just free us, but has replaced the heartache with overwhelming joy.

Over the past several weeks, the children and I have been living out a life of peace and joy. We spent time with our new extended family. They are ordinary people. Some have suffered tremendous loss. Others have enjoyed outstanding successes in their lives. So, why write about my new family? Because, these ordinary people are extraordinary. They have an authentic faith in God. I have met uncles, aunts, nieces and cousins who have all been impacted by one another’s regard for the Lord. Imagine the joy of getting together with family and discussing complex aspects of our God or praising Him for His amazing goodness. I have been in family gatherings where instead of glorifying God, the flesh is worshiped through the latest community gossip, bitter family feuds, or lustful covetous comparisons with the Jones are entertained.

My new family glorified God when my niece shot her first doe for the season. She went on to share the fruits of her prize with a family member who had experienced brokenness. Sure we celebrated the good things, but when we were perplexed and downtrodden we sought God as a family too. For example, my niece participated in the infamous fund raisers held by schools. She carried a manila envelope around during Thanksgiving collecting funds from various people. She inadvertently placed the envelope on the tail hitch of their vehicle and left it there while they traveled. It blew off. The enveloped contained cash and checks from her efforts. Several people mobilized a search party. However, it was late at night making it difficult to see. The first night the search ended in vain. A day or two passed and we feared the envelope was gone for good. My new family did what they always do. They petitioned the Lord in prayer. We continued our travels away from the site, but all of the extended family prayed. Three days later, we received word the envelope was found in a ditch a mile and a half from the house. My niece celebrated as she saw the power of prayer work in her life. We all celebrated.

The routine activity of harvesting deer resulted in praising God. But, the true magnificence occurred when my niece thought of touching someone’s life by sharing the meat she harvested with a hurting family member. The common occurrence of losing an envelope full of money instigated a family to pray together and witness the power of answered prayer.

I am reminded that sometimes when we struggle and pray, God doesn’t answer immediately. I see that in my own life, with 38 years of violence. Yet, if we persist to walk faithfully with Him, He will hear our cry and answer us. Three days of persistent prayer efforts produced results for my niece. Sometimes we may feel as though God is not hearing us. True, in the 38 years I experienced such pain, I wondered if God would ever allow me to see joy and peace. But, we must not give up. We must continue to seek Him and live faithful lives despite our difficult circumstances. God does not desire to give us stones when we ask for bread. (Matthew 7:9)

Udderly His,

The Kansas Milkmaid

Author’s Note:  Reposted with pictures and some errors edited out. 

Thanksgiving provokes us to pause and reflect on gratitude. This is a nationally celebrated holiday where people of all walks of life get together and eat till they are miserable and groan “thank you”.  We are taught as youngsters this great holiday started with the pilgrims. They were thankful for a bountiful harvest after a rough start in the new world. Yet, we miss this important point:  Thanksgiving is not a once a year affair. It is a way of life. Scripture tells us to give thanks in everything. And, we are to rejoice in the Lord always. For a Christian gratitude should be a way of life. However, we all know how difficult it is to be thankful in this fallen world. Life is full of hardships and complications. With this reality, gratitude requires effort. It is an exercise of self discipline to keep a spirit of thankfulness alive on a daily basis. However, by the grace of God, a Christian can use gratitude as a tool to triumph over difficulties.

When difficulties strike, it is good to begin practicing gratitude in the heat of the moment. For example, my dishwasher broke down yesterday. I had been gone all weekend traveling to see friends. When I returned, I cleaned out the fridge. There were several fuzzy moldy dishes of leftovers. I disposed of the leftovers, rinsed the dishes, and loaded the dishwasher. Those who know me, know I do not like using a dishwasher. I prefer to wash by hand. However, our new home had a dishwasher. I fell into using it when pressed for time. After being gone all weekend, I fell behind on laundry and dishes, while needing to school the children. I reasoned this would be a good time to use the dishwasher. I loaded it, closed it, punched the buttons and saw and heard nothing. I made sure the machine was closed. I checked the breaker box. I whined and complained to my husband. He examined the machine. We concluded it was broken. Immediately, I was overcome with irritability. How dare this dumb machine break down on me at a time like this? After investigation, I noticed it did not break down on me just now but stopped working when I left home the other day. I was seething with frustration. I dislike machines in the first place, but I fell into the trap of relying on this appliance. It failed me and I was angry for the inconvenience. I found my mood descending into the pit. The pit is not a good place for me to be. It is not a good place for most people in general. It is an unproductive and negative state of mind.

Immediately, I called to mind aspects of this experience for which I was thankful. Specifically, this machine could have spilled water all over the floor when it broke down. It looks as though the motor may have burned up. I was thankful it did not catch fire. Both water and fire damage is disastrous when a person is not at home. Further, I was thankful I could manually wash the dishes. The break down would purge the dependence on appliances that raise my electric and water bill. By the time, I went through a gratitude list, I noticed I was cheerfully washing dishes by hand. It took me a few minutes to change my thought process but it was well worth the effort.

Gratitude can be practiced in crisis moments or it can be practiced in a proactive manner. We have many rituals as a family that emphasize thankfulness. For instance, when I lived in KS we would go to a creek nearby my farm.

We would pick up stones and throw them in the creek.

During a recent trip to Kansas, we drove by the farm, stopped at the creek and engaged in this family ritual. It is a tool to engrain the habit of gratitude deeply in my children’s lives. When the children see a creek, they request the ritual. With a little creativity families can fortify a habit of gratitude in their lives. Why wait for Thanksgiving? Why wait till a crisis? We can implement practices to keep our perspective positive in a variety of ways so when we face difficulties we are more apt to think, on the good. Family prayer time is also a good way to practice gratitude. One practice I would like to improve upon is listing things I am grateful for in my prayer journal. It is good to recount how God blesses us as we forget so easily. 

Udderly His,

The Kansas Milkmaid