The hectic nature of life continues to prevent me from regular blogging. Despite my absence from the web, I continue to have many noteworthy experiences I must find time to write down. Recording these events is not so much for public consumption, but it is crucial for my children and my children’s children.  What is so important about my life? Why keep writing even if only for my children and grandchildren? After all, I am just an ordinary woman living a mundane and sometimes dysfunctional life. Yes, I live life like many others. I have my share of failures, a few successes and perhaps even more failures. Okay, so a lot has gone wrong in my life. But, even my heartache is nothing new. Many people suffered as victims of child abuse and domestic violence is everywhere in marriages both in Christian and non -Christian homes. There are plenty of books in bookstores both new and used chronicling the stories of victims. Sure, there are books about successful people. Frankly, we have seen it all, read it all, and watched it all. Why write more?

The answer is simple. Despite being raised in a non-Christian home surrounded by drunks, abusers, a Satanist and yes more drunks, God found me. He pursued me and hasn’t stopped. He opened my eyes. Once our eyes are opened to see God in our lives, we see an extraordinary life that is worth writing about. With open eyes, we can then look at our past, and often discover God’s activities that we missed the first time around. We see things that we previously missed. And we learn that God was there all the time. Beyond that, when we see God in our lives at work, we can’t help but write it down because we see the good news more profoundly. The ordinary morphs into extraordinary when a person recognizes the sovereign hand of God in the monotonous, and in the midst of chaos. I believe every life, created by God can be remarkable. Moreover, I believe God is working in every life in the same manner described in the bible. Perhaps, He is less apt to use miraculous means to touch our lives. Yet, I find God’s providence to resemble His miraculous nature. No one lives an dull life. We only become ordinary when we refuse to live our lives according to God’s intended purpose. We become ordinary when we fail to see His sovereign plan for our lives, when we fail to acknowledge His majesty.

God in His sovereignty designed a life of woe for me. I spent many years being subjected to abuse as a child and as an adult in my marriage. Living with violence brings loads of complications. The pain and confusion did not occur in a vacuum. Abuse impacts others just like a stone thrown in a pond sends ripples to the larger body of water. Domestic violence is called a social problem for this reason. So, along with complicated family relationships, I have found difficulties in larger social settings when striving to deal with what happened in my life. Yet, God knew exactly what kind of challenges I needed in order to be refined into Christ’s image.

Indeed, my life was characterized by pain and trauma. But, God was in the midst of it all working to free me from the life long oppression. My bondage ended a couple of years ago. Getting released from heartache never occurs instantaneously. The children and I have slowly, piece by piece, been freed from the pain. God didn’t just free us, but has replaced the heartache with overwhelming joy.

Over the past several weeks, the children and I have been living out a life of peace and joy. We spent time with our new extended family. They are ordinary people. Some have suffered tremendous loss. Others have enjoyed outstanding successes in their lives. So, why write about my new family? Because, these ordinary people are extraordinary. They have an authentic faith in God. I have met uncles, aunts, nieces and cousins who have all been impacted by one another’s regard for the Lord. Imagine the joy of getting together with family and discussing complex aspects of our God or praising Him for His amazing goodness. I have been in family gatherings where instead of glorifying God, the flesh is worshiped through the latest community gossip, bitter family feuds, or lustful covetous comparisons with the Jones are entertained.

My new family glorified God when my niece shot her first doe for the season. She went on to share the fruits of her prize with a family member who had experienced brokenness. Sure we celebrated the good things, but when we were perplexed and downtrodden we sought God as a family too. For example, my niece participated in the infamous fund raisers held by schools. She carried a manila envelope around during Thanksgiving collecting funds from various people. She inadvertently placed the envelope on the tail hitch of their vehicle and left it there while they traveled. It blew off. The enveloped contained cash and checks from her efforts. Several people mobilized a search party. However, it was late at night making it difficult to see. The first night the search ended in vain. A day or two passed and we feared the envelope was gone for good. My new family did what they always do. They petitioned the Lord in prayer. We continued our travels away from the site, but all of the extended family prayed. Three days later, we received word the envelope was found in a ditch a mile and a half from the house. My niece celebrated as she saw the power of prayer work in her life. We all celebrated.

The routine activity of harvesting deer resulted in praising God. But, the true magnificence occurred when my niece thought of touching someone’s life by sharing the meat she harvested with a hurting family member. The common occurrence of losing an envelope full of money instigated a family to pray together and witness the power of answered prayer.

I am reminded that sometimes when we struggle and pray, God doesn’t answer immediately. I see that in my own life, with 38 years of violence. Yet, if we persist to walk faithfully with Him, He will hear our cry and answer us. Three days of persistent prayer efforts produced results for my niece. Sometimes we may feel as though God is not hearing us. True, in the 38 years I experienced such pain, I wondered if God would ever allow me to see joy and peace. But, we must not give up. We must continue to seek Him and live faithful lives despite our difficult circumstances. God does not desire to give us stones when we ask for bread. (Matthew 7:9)

Udderly His,

The Kansas Milkmaid